The multiplayer online shooter game Fortnite has become a cultural phenomenon, with over 40 million players a month. The Onion presents a guide to everything you need to know about Fortnite.
Q: What is Fortnite?
A: A game where 100 players compete to survive in the violent, cutthroat world of architecture.
Q: Does Fortnite cost anything?
A: The first taste is always free.
Q: What consoles is Fortnite available on?
A: The game remains exclusive to SEGA Dreamcast.
Q: Is there a social component?
A: You can talk with other players during the game, which could technically count as being social.
Q: What’s the best landing spot?
A: It’s a little-known fact, but players report a 100 percent victory rate if they drop down 700 miles west of the island in the Ornery Ocean.
Q: Should parents freak out about it?
A: Of course.
Q: If I’m situated in a one-by-one on the hills above Tilted Towers with a no-skin sniper to my south and a John Wick with a light machine gun charging up from the north, do I switch to my tactical submachine gun or my suppressed submachine gun?
A: They removed the tactical submachine gun from the game in the last patch update, you fucking imbecile.
Q: What makes Fortnite different from other games?
A: Look, we have no idea. Sometimes things just catch on, all right?