Nintendo Never Should Have Pandered To Women And Created A Female Mario

Nintendo has made some missteps over the years, whether it was the disappointing Wii U or basically every Star Fox game from the past 20 years. Through it all, I’ve remained a steadfast fan, eagerly awaiting every game release, console, and major announcements. But there is one atrocity I can never forgive. Nintendo never should have pandered to women and created a female Mario.

Just look at this disaster.

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Luigi is politically correct thinking at its worst: a character with zero depth, who serves no purpose other than to make women feel good about themselves. Frankly, she is barely a distinct character from Mario, using the almost exactly the same moveset and outfit as the iconic plumber, neither of which a woman can realistically pull off.

I’m going to get in trouble for saying this, but making Luigi was a stupid decision by Nintendo and a completely unnecesary one, at that. Mario was great as he was. We didn’t need this new female character wedged into the Mushroom Kingdom with no thought for its impact on the franchise’s plot, gameplay, or characters.

Besides the lack of any real purpose for a character like Luigi, it just doesn’t make sense to have a woman risking her life in dangerous situations like Mario does. All the feminists out there want you to think that just by stuffing a woman in a green hat and overalls, they’re suddenly going to be just as capable as men. But in real life, there is no way a woman could shoot fire the way Mario shoots fire. Dumb, pandering women’s empowerment bullshit like this goes against science itself.

Trying to fool yourself into pretending a woman like Luigi could handle a Yoshi as well as Mario just proves how intellectually bankrupt this whole line of thinking is.

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I have no idea what Nintendo was thinking, introducing this slender, petite Mario with a coquettish smile. They were clearly just trying to satisfy all the whiny feminists out there because Luigi checks all the typical politically correct boxes for a female character. Just as good at beating Bowser? Check. Can inexplicably jump higher than him? Check. Thicker mustache? Check. Worst of all, she is taller than Mario! That is nothing but a joke because biologically speaking, women aren’t taller than men. This kind of antagonistic, nature-denying activism is destroying traditional masculinity, and Nintendo is indulging it!

Not to mention the obvious fact that plumbing has always been a male-dominated industry, so to make some ham-fisted attempt to force a woman into the canon doesn’t make sense. Clearly, Luigi would be happier if she were at home taking care of some baby Toads. There is nothing wrong with that. But SJWs are so allergic to reality, they think there’s something wrong with motherhood.

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And don’t even get me started on Nintendo’s decision to use Luigi to push the gay agenda on people who care about traditional values. Putting an “L” on her hat that clearly stands for “Lesbian” is disgusting, and it’s just another attempt to shove political correctness down our throats.

Look, I have nothing against women. Peach is great. Peach knows her role. All I’m saying is that Luigi is an insult to a great character like Mario. Like so many things that come from the Hollywood liberal elite, Mario is portrayed as this frumpy, overweight man, while Luigi is glorified as this perfect, beautiful woman. Maybe it’s time to finally admit what everyone outside the liberal bubble already knows: that men are the more insulted and oppressed group, and that female characters like Luigi are designed to keep us down.

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Men and all Americans who believe in upholding traditional values need to stand up to the liberal media machine and say: “No more Luigis!” She has been the worst part of the franchise for years, and her unwanted presence has completely ruined something so many people loved. SJW hero Luigi is nothing but a disgrace, a blemish on Nintendo’s name, and we should not rest until this pointless, pandering seductress is removed from all future Mario games.

Unless gamers clearly reject political correctness like this, we will continue to be silenced and erased, and the future will belong to the Luigis of the world.

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