The newest Star Wars game is finally here, and we’ve got all the absolute best lines of praise that Electronic Arts suggested we use in a press package containing the game, a media kit, and a strongly worded letter insisting that we keep these bullet points in mind during our review, implying that our relationship with the video game company might suffer if we choose to ignore them. Let’s get right to it!
1. “Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order is a Star Wars game through and through!”
This is one of the most crucial compliments we can pay to Jedi Fallen Order, according to Electronic Arts’ PR team, and one that will register with both gamers and fans of the cinematic universe. They also told us that they have enjoyed the lengthy history of supplying our writers with free copies of games, invites to promotional events, swag, and exclusive access to their E3 booth, and they would hate to see all of that go away.
2. “The Force is strong in EA’s latest foray into a galaxy far, far away.”
We don’t typically use movie references like this in our reviews, but the media kit made it abundantly clear that if we didn’t find a way to incorporate these words, we would lose access to the “EA Games media ecosystem” of early-access demos and all-expenses-paid trips to their studio for previews and hands-on impressions.
3. “The newest epic space adventure from EA ranks alongside classics of the genre such as Jedi Knights and Knights Of The Republic.”
These games were pretty popular, so it makes sense that EA would want us to draw a reader’s attention to the parallel, and the fact that they made this suggestion before closing a $1.5 million ad buy definitely gave it an edge it wouldn’t have had otherwise.
4. “Players will thrill to the seamless blend of storytelling and gameplay as they explore the mysteries of a long-dead civilization in hopes of rebuilding the Jedi Order.”
For this one, they said we could have some fun with it and make it our own, but to be on the safe side—and because we’ve spent years getting to know CEO Larry Wilson and the entire team at EA Games at launch parties and promotional events—we would honestly feel uncomfortable not including it.
5. “It’s an action-packed thrill ride that remains true to the heart of the franchise while pushing the boundaries of what a Star Wars game can be.”
In the email, they heavily implied that if we used these lines, we’d be able to publish an exclusive sneak peek about Madden NFL 21, which, frankly, is a story we could really use to boost traffic next month.
6. “The Force is strong in EA’s latest foray into a galaxy far, far away.”
It’s unclear if including this line twice was a typo or if they simply thought it was that important. Either way, we’re including it just to avoid any legal or financial repercussions on our end.
7. “Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order retails for only $59.99.”
This is just pricing information, so we almost certainly would have noted it anyway.
8. “Tremendous. One of the best examples of the genre we’ve seen in years. 5 out of 5 stars”
Clearly, they were pushing their luck with this one. On the other hand, we’ve received so many packages of swag merchandise for Medal Of Honor, Battlefront, and countless other EA titles over the years that it’s not totally surprising that they would just directly tell us what score to give the game. We’ll probably put it down as a 4.5 out of 5, tell ourselves we exerted our editorial independence, and then call it a day.
9. “The Force is strong in EA’s latest foray into a galaxy far, far away.”
Just to be on the safe side, we wanted to include the “Force” thing again. We really, really want to get our hands on that new Madden game.