Here is thrilling news that should have every fan of online shooters drooling in anticipation: Yesterday, Activision employees operating a MIM-104F Patriot surface-to-air missile launcher shot down a French airliner over Icelandic waters, pushing the nations to the brink of armed conflict, all in the name of having a new war to set the next Call Of Duty game in.
Get ready for the next evolution of Modern Warfare!
According to sources, the clandestine strike that killed 178 people over the Norwegian Sea came after Activision executives grew concerned about an increasingly stale franchise, which had already tackled conflicts from the Syrian Civil War to World War 2. After weeks of brainstorming, it was agreed that the only thing that could invigorate the series was a fresh, compelling war in a unique environment and that calling in airstrikes in a 64-player ground war across the stunning glaciers of Iceland was just the ticket.
But Activision’s dedication to innovating Call Of Duty did not stop with just shooting down a plane. In order to stoke tensions further between the two nations, company contractors, posing as Icelandic special forces, carried out a series of retaliatory bombings in Paris and Lyon this morning. It looks like all you Call Of Duty die-hard fans out there are only a few more days of escalating tensions away from firefights in the streets of Reykjavík and high-speed tank chases along the banks of the Seine. How awesome is that!
So, we here at OGN call on the nations of Iceland and France to not back down. Vengeance must be had for your unjustly slaughtered citizens, and the only solution is the one that would make a killer new Warzone map! Now let’s see if those cowards at EA can match Activision by finally getting China and India to engage in an all-out war. Sure sounds a lot better than Battlefield V.