Listen up gamers, because boy do we have a deal for you! Starting today, you can save $60 just by exhibiting some fiscal responsibility for once in your life and not buying the new Call Of Duty game. That’s right! If you muster up just a teensy bit of restraint, you’ll be able to pocket $60 and start working your way towards a financially sound future and a stable retirement. How kick-ass is that? Plus, imagine how much better you’ll feel spending the 50 or 60 hours you would have sunk into this tactical shooting game into something truly beneficial like, say, making sure your estate is in order or speaking to a financial advisor about the benefits of a Roth 401(k). Do you even know what one of those is? Shouldn’t you, based on how long you’ve been alive? Frankly, you could even just put the saved cash into a low-interest savings account and it would still bring you a solid return. So long as you show some maturity in money matters for once in your existence, you’re going to really be thanking yourself when retirement rolls around. And, hey, if you’re still thinking about buying Call of Duty: Modern Warfare when you hit the age of 65, it will probably have depreciated far enough in value that you can buy yourself, like, a couple hundred copies without even breaking the bank. Pretty cool, huh? But jump on this deal soon! Given your level of self-control in the past, you’re at a high risk of shelling out $199.99 for the Dark Edition and some takeout, and wondering what the hell you were thinking once rent is up.
More from The Onion