Come On, Man: Representatives From CD Projekt Red Are Completely Hogging All The Controllers At The Booth Where You Can Try Out ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Even Though It’s Their Own Game

Illustration for article titled Come On, Man: Representatives From CD Projekt Red Are Completely Hogging All The Controllers At The Booth Where You Can Try Out ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Even Though It’s Their Own Game

You know what, OGN readers? We’ve seen some pretty unprofessional behavior before in the gaming industry, but this really takes the cake. There is a whole line of playable demo stations for Cyberpunk 2077 at the Onion Gamer Expo right now, but the reps from CD Projekt Red have been hogging every single one of them this whole time even though it’s their own game.

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Look, we’re just going to say it: This is total bullshit.

After a week of exclusive previews and gameplay teasers, we were unbelievably pumped to finally get our hands on CD Projekt Red’s sprawling new science-fiction RPG. Unfortunately, just as we were about to grab a controller to jump into the neon-lit wonder of Night City, a dozen Projekt Red employees barged through the door, commandeered every single one of the controllers, and haven’t stopped playing for the past 30 minutes. They didn’t even seem to care that there was a massive line of fans who had been waiting for hours to catch a glimpse of the new perk trees and stealth mechanics over their shoulders. Goddamnit.

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What’s worse is that we have repeatedly and respectfully asked their designers and coders to step aside and let someone else play, stressing that they must have playtested the game thousands of times by now over the five-year development cycle. But they just either outright ignored us or laughed in our face! It’s unbelievable. There are signs mounted everywhere that say “Limit 15 Minutes”—signs that they mounted themselves—and these pricks don’t even seem to care.

Jesus Christ, one of them just quit out of the game entirely so she could boot up Celeste. That’s not what this booth is for, you jerks! C’mon!

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Well, we are calling it, this is fucking unacceptable, gamers. This is our expo and we want to play Cyberpunk, or at least watch it without Mike Pondsmith deliberately obstructing our view. If CD Projekt Red wants to thumb their noses at the rules and act like a bunch of spoiled assholes, they will pay the price. We’re calling the expo manager to get these assholes off the consoles and let everyone else gets a chance.

And by the way CD Projekt? We are panning the shit out of your game if you ever actually manage to release it.

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