Apr 9
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Fellow staff writer Dennis Lee and I joined The Takeout in October, so we’ve never met in person. Actually, I’ve…
Lillian Stone
lillianstone
Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.
Apr 9
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Baseball season is officially here, which means peanuts, Cracker Jack, ballpark franks—and, for one lucky left…
Apr 8
1
Please, for the love of God: if you choose to dine at a restaurant right now, the very least you can do is tip your…
Apr 8
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Animals scoff at the laws of man. Just now, I noticed two fat pigeons making a nest on my windowsill. Do the pigeons…
Apr 8
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We’ve all had to get a little creative when it comes to quarantine pastimes. Personally, I ordered 10 packages of…
Apr 8
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Welcome to Gamer Week, in which The Takeout will be celebrating the edible side of video games all week long.
Apr 7
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Today I learned about the “crisp sandwich,” one of Britain’s most ingenious small pleasures. It is, quite simply,…
Apr 7
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Consider this the first official memo from the Ketchup-Loving Adults Club (KLAC). As the club’s self-appointed…
Apr 7
1
Welcome to Gamer Week, in which The Takeout will be celebrating the edible side of video games all week long.
Apr 6
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I don’t know many Utahns, but I’m very tickled by the so-called cusses the region is known for—“Holy shizz,” “Oh my…
Apr 6
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Do you like to live dangerously? Do you like to zip yourself into some kind of leather garment and rip wheelies on…
Apr 6
1
I like to think of myself as a discerning reporter. In my J. Jonah Jameson-tinged fantasies, I’m puffing a fat cigar…
Apr 5
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As if Texans needed another reason to brag about Whataburger: the San Antonio-based burger chain has officially…
Apr 5
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Easter means two things: celebrating a guy who escaped from a tomb and eating tons of chocolate. That seems like a…
Apr 5
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To a relative n00b like myself, it seems like gaming is all about intensity. Smashing stuff! Stealing cars!…
Apr 3
1
It’s Friday, and we here at The Takeout want to send you sailing into the weekend with images of sweet, food-stealing…
Apr 2
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It’s best to avoid eating things you find while rummaging around in an attic. That’s a good rule of thumb, I…
Apr 2
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America’s Next Top Model fans have been scouring their local grocery freezers since supermodel Tyra Banks teased her…
Apr 1
1
Monowi, Nebraska is the only incorporated, government-run American town with a population of just one person—and…
Apr 1
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I’m not in the habit of carefully sorting my frozen fruit before dumping it into my blender—but I just might start…