Lillian Stone's posts

Don’t be fooled by the snow flurries outside of The Takeout’s Chicago headquarters: summer is nearly here, which…

What’s the pettiest thing you’ve ever done? I once slapped a girl in the lower back because she wouldn’t let me…

I have this theory that anyone who claims to be a happy-go-lucky baker who can just feel the proper dry-liquid…

It’s an ongoing problem: fast food sales have skyrocketed during the pandemic, but chains can’t find enough workers.…

If you ever find yourself two hours into a flight from Central America, salivating at the unmistakable scent of…

Grown-ups: they just don’t understand. That’s why, after losing their favorite desserts to school district…

When I’m having a bad day, I like to watch this 20-second clip of a little snake named Linguine going to jail. I’m…

Welcome, foolish mortals, to the home of cadaverous casseroles, exsanguinous eats, and snack-related sagas so…

My fellow staff writer Allison Robicelli typically covers The Takeout’s Robot Patrol. Unfortunately, Robicelli…

It’s sandwich time. You’ve opened your bread bag, selected a slice or two, and placed the packaged loaf back on the…

A tattoo is a powerful form of self-expression. You can get Tweety Bird tattooed on your butt cheek to let future…

Update, April 15, 2021: Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! Get your refresh finger ready! Jeni’s is trying online sales again today,…

Netflix reality show The Circle debuted last year, described as a “social experiment where online players flirt,…

When I think “getaway vehicle,” I imagine two options. First, something discreet, like a beige 1997 Geo Metro…

Here, let’s do some Tuesday mathematics. If I turn 27 this year, and I’ve eaten Special K Vanilla Almond cereal for…

Ah, the Masters! The storied tournament during which the world’s top golfers flock to Augusta, Georgia to compete…

Forget the ice cream truck—I’d rather scream in pursuit of a roaming cheese vessel. That dream is now a reality for…

I’ve extolled the virtues of pre-mixed seasonings before. Seasoning and sauce mixes aren’t just a weapon in the lazy…

As someone who’s spent a lot of time playing with those Freestyle soda dispensers, I can confidently say that Diet…

Happy Monday, milk chuggers. If you woke up excited to suck down a hearty serving of dairy—only to be dissuaded by…